Sinitta interview: ‘People touched me when I was a child star, but I emerged pretty unscathed’

The singer, 60, reflects on friendship with Simon Cowell, experiencing a miscarriage on live television, and reaching her prime in midlife

Best and worst is a regular interview in which a celebrity reflects on the highs and lows of their life
Sixty-year-old British-American singer Sinitta was born in Seattle, Washington and moved with her mother, a successful singer and theatre performer, to the UK aged nine. She performed in several theatrical roles as a child, including in The Wiz in the West End when she was 12. By 21, Sinitta found commercial success with her hit single So Macho in the summer of 1985. After a successful music career she has made many television appearances, most notably on The X-Factor alongside best friend and producer, Simon Cowell.
Sunshine On A Rainy Day by Zoë. It’s one of those songs which, whenever I hear it, gives me the same joy as it did the first time. I first heard it when I was behind the wheel of my little Mini Cabriolet in 1990. I used to drive around with the radio blasting and the roof down. I remember it being a perfect day, driving with my greatest friends down the King’s Road in London, and that song came on. It was just the perfect moment and we loved it so much we went straight to the record store to buy the album. It always takes me back to that moment. 
I was on the first series of The Jump, which was a programme where they got a load of celebrities to learn Winter Olympics sports. I just had the best time. We all lived in Austria together in a hotel, getting up at 5am each day to do all these death-defying challenges on the slopes. It was a real eclectic group of people, but we got on amazingly well. After we finished, we’d all just sit in the hotel bar drinking, screaming with laughter every night. It was hard, it was dangerous, but it was hugely exhilarating. I think [eventual winner] Joe McElderry and I were the only people who didn’t get injured. It was a brilliant experience and I learned so much – now I’m an advanced skier who can ski jump, ski cross, slalom and all those things. 
I love doing theatre even more than pop shows. I love playing the characters, the feeling of transforming, getting to be creative and develop that character and seeing how the audience reacts to it. The biggest compliment I ever got was when a friend came to see me as Mama Morton in Chicago and afterwards told me “I didn’t recognise you up there.” It’s so fun to be someone else for a while, I think I prefer it to being myself on stage. 
I adopted my two children, and picking them up to drive them home with me was surreal. I almost felt like I’d stolen these children. You juggle all this paperwork, jump through all these hoops for months and months and then one day you just go and pick them up. I was just driving down the street with them and almost thinking ‘is that it? No police escort? You’re just going to let me have them?’ It was an incredible feeling.
I’m going to have to say Simon Cowell. He’s one of my longest term friends, and he has always been a very good friend to me. In difficult times and the best times of my life, he’s always there for me. I don’t see him as much as I’d like to now that he lives in America, but we speak once a week. We were chatting recently about all the drama of Louis [Walsh] and Sharon [Osborne] being on Celebrity Big Brother. We call them ‘Statler and Waldorf’ – the two old muppets who are always grumpy and complaining. But ultimately Simon said “I feel bad, I haven’t been in touch with them as much as I should have, I’ll give them a call.” He’s a big softie really. 
Not having self-confidence. Sometimes people didn’t treat me right and I didn’t have the confidence to stick up for myself. People took advantage; people touched me, but I just kept my mouth closed because I didn’t want to be seen as troublesome. It was hard and I look back now and get quite annoyed, I think “what should I have done differently?” But I came out pretty unscathed, considering. 
The one that springs to mind was a powerful woman. I was trying to do business with her, and I’d been invited to her office to arrange a contract. I really saw her as a champion of women in the business and hoped she’d be a brilliant mentor to me, so I’d put a lot of work into preparing my presentation. Before I could get started she said “look, Sinitta, we all know what you do for Simon, you don’t need to show me this, just take the money and go.” She saw the whole meeting as a farce, that I was just there as Simon’s friend rather than because of my own skills or talent. I refused the money and left feeling awful. 
I hated my own song, GTO, when I first heard it. I didn’t understand it at all. I thought, “why am I singing this song about a car? I don’t care about cars.” My audience was young people and gay men, they wouldn’t get it. I was refusing to sing it but I was compelled to do so by my producers. We made a music video with the car and a lot of hot men and I think that is what made my audience love it. But nowadays, if I do a set and don’t perform GTO, people demand it. So maybe we can rescue it; let’s make it the gay anthem of 2024! 
I had difficulty conceiving and had a lot of miscarriages. I did three rounds of IVF but I was unable to carry those pregnancies. I ultimately found an amazing surrogate who had my embryo and got pregnant with twins. I celebrated publicly, I was so excited, and up until then I hadn’t even realised surrogacy was legal so I wanted to tell the world so other women in my position would know they had a chance. I went on This Morning and they asked if they could come to the eight week scan, which I thought would be a special experience. I was on live television when we saw the two heartbeats were gone. It was utterly devastating. When you have a miscarriage, the world doesn’t know about it, but now everywhere I went people were telling me how sorry they were. I couldn’t escape the loss. It was awful. 
The disregard of older women. I feel like I’m so much in my prime now, at 55. When you’re fully grown you’re a much better person, you spent all those years turning into who you actually are, then suddenly you hit that point and no one wants you anymore. Just as you’re at your most interesting! The world finds youth very sexy, and I think youth is fun, gorgeous, and cute, but being older is sexier because you’re in control of your life and what you do with it. I recently founded this website called Sin’s Angels, a community for the 50+ generation, which is all about realising that now is the best time of our lives. The best is yet to come, as long as you’re fit and healthy, things will just get better and better.
Social injustice. I grew up black, I’m a woman, I’ve got dozens of gay fans and friends, and I’ve had enough already. All forms of prejudices are intolerable. When are people going to realise we’re all the same and none of it matters? The older you get the more you realise these differences between us don’t matter. You just want to be happy and enjoy your life. How do people spend so much energy hating and warring against other people? I don’t get it.
Sinitta stars in the UK tour of NOW That’s What I Call A Musical, a new comedy musical, between 6 September and 5 October.